Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Alarm


Ah, shit.  I forgot…Now I have to think of a lie for why I didn’t have time to buy an alarm clock.  Why doesn’t she just use her cell phone like I do?  Because, I don’t trust it.  Sometimes she’s just so fuckin’ annoying…I love her…let me stop before I write something really good, and then I turn it in to be published and it becomes a big famous piece of literature, and then I’ll end up having to hear her bitch about this forever, “I can’t believe you called me stupid…I can’t believe you sold that piece for millions…I can’t even live in this mansion, or wear this huge diamond wedding ring because all it does is remind me that we’re rich because you called me stupid…you’re the stupid one who forgot the alarm clock…but nobody remembers that.  Women…petty creatures…I better just stop being lazy and go run to the store and pick-up the stupid alarm.  Where the hell do you go to buy an alarm at this hour…awe, yes, Wal-mart…the homeland for unusual shopping pleasures at late hours.  I’m hungry, maybe I’ll swing by Cojita’s on the way home from the Wal-mart.  I hope I get shot on that street…that way I can blame her with my dieing words.  “Oh, honey, why were you out there so late?”  Then with my cutest, saddest face I would say my last words, “I had to get you your alarm clock…Why couldn’t you just use you cell phone like I told you?”  Then a brief pause, “Stupid girl.” 

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